When (and if) aliens arrive in orbit around our little world, why should they settle for mundane methods of data collection like mutilating cattle or sampling the contents of the human colon? Guaranteed, they’d be far more interested in studying things like human mating rituals, which (let’s face it) we humans are still trying to figure out—so why wouldn’t aliens, who are unlikely share our concept of gender differences, find what we get up to in that area endlessly fascinating? I suspect they would. The question then becomes, how best to gather the data necessary to figure out what on Earth is going on? This caption is how. Enjoy!